I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize