If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
