with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
