We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
