I accidentally had phone sex last night
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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