I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There's always time for handjobs
As shirtless as possible
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize