whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
