I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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