Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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