Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize