So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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