dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
