and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
