Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
