Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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