We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
