Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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