Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
