So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
