absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
