I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
