Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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