he thought i was a dude.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
