People with herpes should wear stickers.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Actions speak louder than pants.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize