Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
