I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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