We won't sleep together?
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
