Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
