More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
