i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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