I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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