There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
