Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
