if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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