Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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