um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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