bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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