You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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