Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
