conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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