This girl is more easily done than said...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
