Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize