is your mom at the bar?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
