I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
