some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize