Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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