I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize