So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
