i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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