tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
