Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
