i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
