okay pat passed out under dana's car
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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