I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
