i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
