im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
