you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize