it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
