maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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