It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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