Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize
