Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
