Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
