Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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