You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize