You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
