thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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