even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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