just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
