Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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