I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
