so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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