Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
