Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
