Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
