i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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